if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
