She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study