yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
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The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
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The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.