i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
