please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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