WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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