don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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