she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
