Got a toothbrush?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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