Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize