Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
