i was born a porn star she said
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
