I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
