just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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