I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
