I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
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you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
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I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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