I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
