She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
