The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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