I heard we made out
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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