We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
