let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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