I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
