At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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