barbara walters just said penis...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
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