The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
