I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
