hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
