margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You can't special order awesome
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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