I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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