Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
