We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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