So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Randomize
