Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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