i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
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One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
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Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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