somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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