alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
