Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
