you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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