Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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