I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
