Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
