I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
