Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
