oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
A+ Viking dick
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
