I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize