In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
