My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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