i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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