turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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