i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
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So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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