No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
