Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
