i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
