TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
