it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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