I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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