so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
